A quickie on Pamela Anderson, Drew Barrymore and being make-up free

I'm here for it but I still have some thoughts

Over the last 24 hours, I’ve been watching the clips of Pamela Anderson on Drew Barrymore’s show where she appears make-up free, as she has done ever since Paris Fashion Week 2023. Inspired by her approach, hosts of the show Drew Barrymore and Valerie Bertinelli also went make-up free, which was surprising, shocking and wonderful, and never has a two-minute clip forced me to confront so many things about myself.

Before I go any further, I should say that I am a Pamela fan which was a surprise to me given that I spent a lot of the 90s watching my boy mates drool over her, and her aesthetic set up a certain standard that was impossible for me to attain. But you know, time passes, you realise boys and men are not reliable sources of validation for anyone, let alone something that should form a woman’s sense of self, and you also realise that the woman they are idolising is a real person whose life is far from golden. And that after you watch a Netflix documentary of her life, and see how she subverted the way the world saw her and reframed it on her own terms, you realise you like her a lot.

However, there is something to be said about the irony of women discussing how freeing it is to not have to spend hours on their appearance – a conversation which most men don’t have, by the way. They get to not only have all of that free time not doing their hair and make-up, but also more added free time not talking about it, because for them it is not a thing. Anyway.  

Thoughts that came up as I watched the clip were:

1)        Would I be able to do what Drew Barrymore did and appear on TV without make-up? The answer is no. Although I have gotten more comfortable with being make-up free especially when I do wrestling and jiu jitsu, there is a visceral, powerful reaction to the idea of my face being captured and beamed to a large audience without makeup on. This is a very uncomfortable realisation, particularly as someone who espouses things like ageing naturally, and being comfortable in one’s own skin.

Why is it a no? Why am I able to fight and yell for equality for women, but find myself unable to let go of beauty standards that my male friends aren’t required to meet? I know it’s not right and that I should be able to do what they do, and leave the house with just moisturiser. And yet, there is something fundamental, something wrapped around my root system that repels the idea of someone seeing me without it.

2)       The moment where Drew pulls out her hair extensions and references the hairloss that can come with peri-menopause was excellent. Not just because it highlighted peri-menopause, but because not enough attention is given to women going through a major biological transition in their late 40s and 50s who are expected to work and exist alongside cis men who don’t experience the same, and as if they don’t have enough shit on their plate, being pressured into looking younger because they are told their beauty is otherwise worthless.

3)        I loved Pamela’s reasons for going makeup free but I hated that it was even a conversation at all. Can you imagine *insert name of A-list male Hollywood star* being asked about it? Or instead, do they get to talk about their work? The closest I’ve seen around this is when a male star is asked physique-related questions around getting their body ready for a role, and even then it is framed within the context of work. Why is it that women have to talk about the rejection of this stuff as it pertains to their identity, versus men who just get to exist?

4)        I get it. I know the conversation is relevant for a lot of reasons. Women and men do not have the same experience ageing, and there is an ageism bias that affects women more than men. We are the undesirable crones and they are the silver foxes. We are the hysterical hot flush crew and they are dignified, wise Zaddys. Women are only considered hot (metaphorically) if they seem to defy the laws of nature with six pack abs, and if they don’t, then they are ‘brave’.

Men are subject to body pressures but never ever in the history of fucking ever has a man been called brave for posing in swimwear over the age of 50. I know what these women are discussing is important but I wish we could fast forward to the stage where we don’t have to spend any more life juice talking about life choices and pressures that men never have to think about.

5) How refreshing it is to have a conversation around beauty that doesn’t have to shame women who do get a lot of joy from make-up (of which I am one). Pammy talks about just being able to exist, to focus on the things that give her joy, rather than wielding her new ethos to make women feel guilty for not being able to do the same. I may have views on natural ageing but I also think the goal is for women to do whatever they want as long as they are doing it for themselves. There can be space for all of us, without assigning morals to the choices we make.

6) Finally, a shoutout to my favourite note on Substack posted by

trina das

who wrote:

crazy how a woman doing nothing to alter her physical appearance (not wearing makeup, not shaving her body hair) is considered taking an extreme stance. just existing in a female body is not possible in the way that it is for men. i’m going insane.

The comments are brilliant.