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"Busy living life not busy being busy" - I love this Poorna. And I was once the person who started every sentence with "I'm so busy" and who didn't have a free weekend for months. It's madness looking back on it now and I'm so glad I realised and made changes to that way of thinking. It's definitely freeing 🥰

And welcome to Substack! I've followed you on Instagram for a while after listening to you on Fearne Cottons podcast. I'm looking forward to following along ☺️

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Thank you - incredibly kind of you to say!

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This is something I am so passionate about. I live in Washington DC and scheduling a get together with a friend feels like scheduling a space shuttle launch. It’s ridiculous and not normal and despite being busy all the time, people are lonely. I miss the days of just calling friends without scheduling the call in advance (I’m Gen X)!! Thanks for naming this.

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I hear you! I’m a borderline Gen X/ Millenial but it’s so crazy how things change - the idea of someone calling me out of the blue seems so different to how I used to feel about it

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Relate to this so much! Still working in corporate but very protective of my calendar and block out lunch (and actually take it every day without fail), gym sessions, walks etc... and very few people try to impose their own priorities onto that time. Still do my hours, deliver on my projects and have a varied life outside of work...it’s taken me a long time to get there but it feels like second nature now and those boundaries are easier to uphold. The only thing that still happens regularly....meetings that could have been emails 🙄

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I did a three month consultancy stint for a corporate last year and realised I could never go back. Well done you for creating some amazing boundaries - am sure it has also inspired your colleagues to do the same

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thanks for sharing poorna and your thoughts resonate. im intrigued that you put your downtime into your calendar. do you have specific downtime activities or is it just time? what about spur of the moment downtime, or random unplanned downtime. how do you fit that in. as someone who only has a work calendar it would be interesting to hear how you deal with unplanned stuff. read, write, live 💕

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Oh I have tons of that! I am fairly spontaneous and that’s why I don’t plan stuff in more than two weeks in advance. But sometimes especially if I have a busy work schedule I have to ringfence that time (and there’s no set thing I need to be doing, just half a day or a day blocked out)

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Sep 16, 2023Liked by Poorna Bell

I know people who wear their busy-ness like a badge of honor. "I barely see my children" they say, almost proudly, and deep inside, I just think that is sad. Lovely post, thank you for putting this into words

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It may be a tired old cliche, but back when I was living in the office, not applying elsewhere out of loyalty, I could've done with that meme that goes, "don't kill yourself working. They'll replace you a week after your funeral"

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Samesies 🥲 when I saw how quickly people were made redundant in companies I worked in - that was certainly a wake up call

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I think the whole I am busy and feeling good about it stems from the fact that we think "action = productivity" or "action = busy" which is not really true.

An example of this can be seen when you drive in really congested traffic, especially in Bangalore. There are some who'll keep switching lanes. I have also been guilty of it, till I noticed and realised I wasn't really moving forward, I was only moving horizontally. There are certain traffic congestions where zigzagging actually does help, need to know when to do and when not to do.

Action is also like this isn't it. A sensation of doing something without understanding how useful it is.. action without thinking understanding and doing just what is necessary always is like driving horizontal instead of forward..

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Totally agree, Poorna! Love scheduling downtime into my week as well. Loved this too ... "In part, it’s because I no longer view being busy as shorthand for successful, useful or valuable."

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I may now be retired but I can relate and remember my ‘busy’ life. It is so positive to know that people are now reevaluating their priorities and ‘juggling’, for want of a better word, in more positive ways. Life balance was often seen as a dirty phrase in my day, particularly for women. As Claire says setting boundaries can be hard, is very important but brings great benefits.

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One of the most positive things I’ve seen is among younger people - and their boundaries around work and lunch breaks etc. They are much better at this than me!

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There seems to be a cultural element with this too, I remember being at a team meeting and planning to eat lunch at my desk and one of my German colleagues was horrified and told me off because it’s not healthy (she’s right!)

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Sep 16, 2023Liked by Poorna Bell

This is so wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing. I too am a reformed "people pleaser" and have been working on letting go of my need to be busy all the time... but it can be challenging as I see how my identity has been formed around it, like I thought my worth came from how busy I could be.

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Working on not being a people pleaser I think has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done! But so glad I did it

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The most meaningful experiences seem to visit in the stillness. Society validates business like a badge of honour, real life occurs in the quiet moments of life. Remember to breath - always! Thanks for the reminder. L.Z.

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Absolutely love this - people need to embrace down time, say "no" more and simplify focusing on the things that really matter, the things that make you tick personally. I walked away from the corporate life years ago and the "expectations" that come along with it and haven't looked back once. I realize I'm one of the lucky ones but I too spent years breaking the deeply ingrained habits of busyness and multitasking. Mediation, long runs and focusing on one thing at a time helped me a lot... and I realized too that on my death bed I will be more focused on the time that I spent with family and friends and that I was a part of their lives. Keep writing!

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Thanks Dan! (I can never go back to corporate life again...shudder!)

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Thank you so much for this Poorna! As someone who is working in corporate but also planning my escape by spending evenings and time off working on my creative projects - I have felt incredibly isolated lately. I feel a slight sense of fulfillment through getting my creative to do list done but incredibly alone. I’m a writer so a lot of my work is isolating. I agreed to work this weekend, well I never truly agreed, my friend signed me on and I went with it. This is inspiring me to have a serious discussion with them that I need my Sunday back. (It’s a film shoot where I’d be coming home at midnight and starting work on Monday)

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Ooof that sounds like a lot (although I am a hypocrite as I’m currently working this weekend and going bonkers...) but I also think we have to give ourselves grace and learn from when we do find ourselves over-stretched. You’ll find your balance!

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I love the title of your Substack, Poorna. 'As I was saying' is often the way we women begin/continue/end conversations. And I enjoy your writing.

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Ha ha thank you!

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great piece and much needed in our modern day hustle culture!

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Much appreciated!

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Sep 23, 2023Liked by Poorna Bell

I dropped "busy" a number of years ago after seeing it as an acronym for "Being Under Satan's Yoke".

Now, I like to think of life as full 😊

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