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I went through a season of this last year. I felt incredibly anxious and guilty and depressed at the state of my life - childless, marriage-less renting. Part of it I think was peri-menopause but also the weight of years of being culturally shamed about not being married or having children, still renting 'at my age' and years of shaming myself. The weight of that idea of that I hadn't achieved that 'perfect' life. I have a good job, good family, and friends supportive relationships at church, I have so much going for me but I think I collapsed under the extra stress. I had to slowly unpick the lies from the truth and remind myself of what my core values are, and what I consider success apart from anyone else. A process of life-grief perhaps, maybe we should see it as that and allow it the required space and work.

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I saw this incredible post by a woman in her fifties on TikTok saying that the life we have now is mostly what we designed for ourselves five years ago - and I loved it so much. It may not be the milestones we imagined and there certainly is grief around things that will never be or just aren’t, but there is also so much amazing stuff too

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I also found following over- 40 accounts like fly, hip and ageless really refreshing to have images and stories of normal older woman thriving. A real antidote to the crazy beauty standards we are fed.

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